Ursus: This is a fun little song, but kind of Concusare-specific.

Lucillus: One night, Bain, Dog and Magnus kept teasing Glynnis about selling her off to Moroccan slavers. Well, as usual, I was lurking in the bushes, overheard this, and couldn't resist such a wonderful opening.

A FINE BLONDE WOMAN
By Lucillus
(Sung to the tune of "Wrangler Mountains")
Dedicated to Glynnis and the Concusare

The slavers of Morocco wanted women,
Gold was not a problem, so they said,
The Concusare were running out of whiskey,
And it's far worse to be sober than be dead.

(CHORUS)
Let us find ourselves a fine blonde woman
Those Moroccans will pay dearly for more slaves
And when they pay us off in gold,
Then we can buy more whiskey,
And so the Concusare will be saved.
Stealthily they slipped into a village
Looking for a maid with golden hair
The Concusare, they always have been lucky
The first hut that they entered, one was there.
Swiftly they subdued, then bound and gagged her,
Then off into the night they took their prize,
They traveled towards the coast to meet the slavers,
Ignoring all her struggles as they cried:

(CHORUS)
We have found ourselves a fine blonde woman
Those Moroccans will pay dearly for this slave
And when they pay us off in gold,
Then we can buy more whiskey,
And so the Concusare will be saved.

Bain had an idea he thought was clever,
"Why should we just sell her like brand new?
The camel jockeys won't care if we use her,
And we can have some fun before we're through."
Magnus said, "But if the girl is damaged,
They might pay us less gold when we arrive,"
Doggie thought it wouldn't make a difference
As long as they could tell she was alive.

(CHORUS)
We have found ourselves a fine blonde woman
Those Moroccans will pay dearly for this slave
And when they pay us off in gold,
Then we can buy more whiskey,
And then the Concusare will be saved.

So they tied her to a stake beside the campfire,
Bain took out his sword to cut her hair,
Magnus heated up an iron to brand her,
And Doggie was so buzzed, he didn't care.
But they felt that they should celebrate their conquest,
The last jug of their whiskey soon was gone,
All the Concusare snored round the fire,
But even in their sleep they sang this song:

(CHORUS)
We have found ourselves a fine blonde woman
Those Moroccans will pay dearly for this slave
And when they pay us off in gold,
Then we can buy more whiskey,
And so the Concusare will be saved.

Next morning they awoke with massive headaches
Bleary-eyed and cotton-mouthed as well,
They all looked up to see the stake was empty
And they realized they had no prize left to sell.
Bain blamed slack old Magnus for her absence
Magnus then told Bain to go to hell
Dog was back to sleep within a minute
With their slave gone now, he figured might as well.

(CHORUS)
We have lost ourselves a fine blonde woman
Those Moroccans would've paid well for that slave
Now we have no prize to sell
And we drank up all our whiskey
I guess it's time to try another raid.

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