Birth of a Scout
Howl at the moon and for the bodies in the grave,
For a Shindar scout is born tonight amidst the broken blades.
His kith and kin are slaughtered and his livliehood no more,
So he will wander through this world and submerge himself in war.
And the Death that stalks all mankind he will take to be his wife,
And war and fear and carnage he will have for all his life.
And if sanity eludes him then at least he'll have his war,
And he'll glory in its' horrors and he'll never ask for more.
There's a madness that's inside us, we all go a little scout,
There's a beast within us howling and we've got to let it out.
So we slip the leash of reason and become the dogs of war,
And we glory in the violence and by God we all want more.
So one morning if you wake up and you find the beast is out,
Then dress yourself most brightly so they'll know that you've gone
scout.
And wander through this world 'til you find yourself a war,
And glory in its horrors and don't ever ask for more.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Raise Your Mug To Gwynedd
Well raise your mug to Gwynedd,
But best not raise your sword,
For I'd rather be buggered by all of Rome,
Than fight the Gwynedd horde!
They do not fear too much,
And certainly not to die,
But God forbid the worst occurs,
And all their kegs run dry!
(Chorus)
Oh I won't say they're destructive,
But when Gwynedd comes to town,
Hide yer booze, lock up yer wife,
and nail yer livestock down!
Yeah, hide yer booze, lock up yer
wife, and nail yer livestock down!
They're rowdy and they're drunken,
And for fashion they've no turn,
But better to look like a vomitus mass,
Than fight like a Pentwyvern.
The Scots say bugger the English,
And the English say bugger the Welsh,
And Gwynedd says bugger the sheep,
And to Hell with anything else.
(Chorus)
The Devil went to Gwynedd,
And he left in just his drawers,
And I don't know just what happened,
But he don't go there no more.
The Church sent them a priest,
For to save all of their souls,
But they traded him for a keg of ale,
And I guess that's how it goes!
(Final Chorus)
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Freyfax' Song
Well this is the tale of a wandering young man,
A Shindar called Freyfax by some,
He was making his way through our wicked world,
And trying to have him some fun.
He walked into London with only his clothes,
And a lass whispered into his ear,
He thought for a moment and then shook his head,
And said in a voice loud and clear:
(Chorus)
"I'll never forget the advice of my mom,
"Who warned me 'bout women like you,
"She said never drink beer and keep your sword clean,
"No matter what else you might do."
He walked in a bar for to get in the shade,
A wench came to him with some beer,
He sent her away with a wave of his hand,
His words echoing in her ears:
(Chorus)
One night, just for fun, his friends spiked his drink,
And he liked it and had him some more,
And when he woke up he was somewhere in Wales,
In the arms of a second class whore.
But he never forgot the advice of his mom,
For more than a weekend or two,
He always drank whiskey and kept his sword sheathed,
No matter what else he might do.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
I Want To Be A Roman Legionaire
The recruiter said that legionaires ate steak with every meal,
And they always get the women, and they carry lots of steel,
But now I'm in the legion and they've taught me how to SQUEAL!
And I'm thinking I have made a big mistake.
Well I want to be a Roman legionaire,
Oh I want to be a Roman legionaire,
But first I have to learn,
To stick my ass up in the air,
Oh I want to be a Roman legionaire.
The recruiter said that officers were really friendly folk,
But when I mentioned Caesar’s hair, they beat me to a pulp,
And now I'm in the legion and I'm bleeding on the ground,
And I'm thinking I have made a big mistake.
Well I want to be a Roman legionaire,
Oh I want to be a Roman legionaire,
But first I have to learn,
Not to mention Caesars hair,
Oh I want to be a Roman legionaire.
The recruiter said that Shindar were quite easy to defeat,
And every time we fought with them, our victory was complete,
But now I'm in the legion and they've taught me to RETREAT!
And I'm thinking I have made a big mistake.
Well I want to be a Roman legionaire,
Oh I want to be a Roman legionaire,
But when you're fighting Shindar,
Well you haven't got a prayer,
Oh I want to be a Roman legionaire.
The recruiter said that Gwynedd was a place where warriors sleep,
So I signed the dotted line, and they sent me to a keep.
But now that I'm in Gwynedd well my God they bugger sheep!
And I'm thinking I have made a big mistake.
Well I want to be a Roman legionaire,
Oh I want to be a Roman legionaire,
But don't you send me off to
Gwynedd,
'Cause I couldn't take it there,
Oh I want to be a Roman legionaire.
Now I hate the bloody legion and I wish I could desert.
But every other unit knows, that Romans are the worst,
So now I'm in the legion 'til I'm old and lose my trim,
But I guess by then that I will fit right in.
I don't want to be a Roman legionaire,
I don't want to be a Roman legionaire,
But now I'm getting fat,
And I'm losing all my hair,
And I guess that I'm a Roman legionaire.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
The Thane's Lament
The man from the lowlands he paid me my
coin, and I took up my sword and
my shield.
And off I did march like the young fool
I was, to find honor and glory on
the field.
I slept by the wayside, that very first
night, ignoring the mud and the
slime.
I knew it'd get better, instead it got
wetter, I've slept like that
thousands of times.
Well we march in the mud and we fight in
it too, and at night we all use it
to bed.
And after the fight at the break of first
light, we use it to bury the dead.
Well the looks of the dead, and all of their
screams, I think of with honest
regret.
But when I'm a'dreamin' and wake up
a'screamin', it's the mud that I'd like
to forget.
Well it's too many battles and wars I have
seen, oh much too much bloodshed
and strife.
But when I start thinking and then I start
drinking, I realize that that's been
me life.
Oh I know I will die on some nameless
field, amidst all the screams and the
blood.
In some pointless battle, where men die like
cattle, and my body will lie in the
mud.
It's from mud that we came and to mud
we'll return, and a soldier can ask
for no more.
And that's all you'll have in the whole of
your life, if you follow the way of
war.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Raise your mug of ale
It's a bold and bloody song we sing,
When marching off to war,
For when it all is over,
We won't want to sing no more.
So raise your mug of ale,
And raise a hearty cry,
For tonight we all are merry,
And tomorrow we may die.
I can't complain about my life,
I've had my share of fun,
I've drunk a thousand casks of ale,
And sired a thousand sons.
So raise your mug of ale,
And raise a hearty cry,
For tonight we all are merry,
And tomorrow we may die.
So we'll all live for the moment,
And we'll drunk and merry be,
For tomorrow many men will die,
It might be you or me.
So raise your mug of ale,
And raise a hearty cry,
For tonight we all are merry,
And tomorrow we may die.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Our Goodman
(Jester's Version)
As I came home on Monday night,
A little before me time,
I spied a drunk outside my tent,
I knew that drunk weren't mine.
"Whose drunk be this?"
"Whose drunk be that?"
"Whoever can it be?"
The drunk says "I'm a log, as anyone can see."
Now I've traveled this whole world over,
A hundred leagues or more,
But a log that looks like Docileheim,
I've never seen that before!
As I came home on Tuesday night,
A little before me time,
I spied a drunk outside my tent,
I knew that drunk weren't mine.
"Whose drunk be this?"
"Whose drunk be that?"
"Whoever can it be?"
The drunk says "I'm a king, as anyone can see."
Now I've traveled this whole world over,
A hundred leagues or more,
But a seven foot king of Atlantia,
I've never seen that before!
As I came home on Wednesday night,
A little before me time,
I spied a drunk outside my tent,
I knew that drunk weren't mine.
"Whose drunk be this?"
"Whose drunk be that?"
"Whoever can it be?"
The drunk says "I'm a warrior, as anyone can see."
Now I've traveled this whole world over,
A hundred leagues or more,
But a warrior wearing Roman red,
I've never seen that before.
As I came home on Thursday night,
A little before me time,
I spied a drunk outside my tent,
I knew that drunk weren't mine.
"Whose drunk be this?"
"Whose drunk be that?"
"Whoever can it be?"
The drunk says "I'm an Aratari, as anyone can see."
Now I've traveled this whole world over,
A hundred leagues or more,
But an Aratari wearing a Care Bear Pelt,
I've never seen that before.
As I came home on Friday night,
A little before me time,
I spied a drunk outside my tent,
I knew that drunk weren't mine.
"Whose drunk be this?"
"Whose drunk be that?"
"Whoever can it be?"
The drunk says "I'm a Kutrigur, as anyone can see."
Now I've traveled this whole world over,
A hundred leagues or more,
But a Bulgar that didn't smell like a horse,
I've never seen that before.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Shindar Drinking Song
Last night I went out drinking,
And I met a lively crew,
So we wandered off together,
To hoist an ale or two.
We came upon a little place,
Where the ladies were most fair,
And so we all decided,
That we should tarry there.
Oh we're bold and handsome bastards,
'Til the morning anyway,
When the rising sun will smite our eyes,
And make us curse the day.
The lasses they all love us,
For as long as we can pay,
But when our coin runs out,
They will send us on our way.
So we'll hoist another ale,
And we'll sing another song,
And we'll crawl from bar to bar,
Until the coming of the dawn.
Behind the bar, with golden hair,
There stood a beautious lass,
With ruby lips and eyes of blue,
And this exquisite nose.
Well Maddog was a foolish lad,
Whose moods did not soon pass,
He leapt across that little bar,
And tried to pinch her nose.
(Chorus)
We grabbed young Maddog by the cloak,
And everything was fine,
Until the lass's lad showed up,
With a friend or nine.
I will not bore you with the tale,
Suffice to say we had them beat,
And then the city watch showed up,
To make the night complete.
(Chorus)
Now Fezzik he was not too bright,
He'd smashed a guardsman's head,
So the Magistrate said take him out,
And hang him 'til he's dead.
The lass that Maddog tried to pinch,
Appealed to the bench,
And this morning, I've been told,
He got married to the wench!
(Chorus)
His honor looked me in the eye,
And said: "What should I do?"
So I looked right back at him said,
"Let's hoist an ale or two."
So off we wandered into town,
With a guard or two he'd brung,
Along the way there was a brawl,
And come the morning he was hung!
(Final Chorus)
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Untitled
With a sword in my hand I will face the world alone,
I'll stand against all comers while I've flesh upon my bones.
And those that stand against me will not stand for very long,
For death will be the dance we dance and screams will be the song.
With Shindar all around me I will make a final stand,
I'll live or die in glory on this little patch of land.
With Shindar all around me and our banner all unfurled,
We'll stand against all comers, we will stand against the world.
Time is out there always, likewise Death, his friend,
No matter how you fight they will get you in the end.
The odds are all against me, but that just adds to the fun,
For in the end it's how you fought not if you lost or won.
And the stories that they tell around the fires late at night,
Will be praises of my courage and my prowess and my might.
My name will live forever, Death can't take that from me,
So when my life is over I'll have won my victory.
With a sword in my hand I will face the world alone,
I'll stand against all comers while I've flesh upon my bones.
And those that stand against me will not stand for very long,
For death will be the dance we dance and screams will be the song.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Untitled
A wind blows down from the hills onto the plain,
Where the foe is all assembled and they want to know our name,
"We all of us are Shindar!" we cry with fearsome pride,
And those who've fought against us have paid the price and died.
Kill them all lads kill them all,
Leave them lying in the dirt.
Leave them screaming in their agony,
Screaming from their hurts.
Let them tast the bitter bile of fear,
The tast of their defeat.
Let 'em know they fought the Shindar,
Let 'em know that they've been beat!
It doesn't matter why we fight it only matters that we will,
Today we all will go to war, today we all will kill.
The blood will flow in rivers and the blood will soak the turf,
It's from the dust they came and we'll return them to they earth.
(Chorus)
Sweep upon the foe and fill the air with fearsome cries,
The hand of fear's upon them and they know they're going to die.
When all of this is over and all is said and done,
Only Shindar will be standing 'cause the Shindar will have won.
(Chorus)
In every land and kingdom they will know us all by name,
Our courage and our prowess will buy everlasting fame.
They will speak of us as legends, and tell the tales with awe,
And those that fought against us will tremble to recall.
(Final Chorus Twice)
Jester of the Shindar, 1992
To Anglesey
Cursing all the gods above
I stand upon this field
Holding to a shattered sword
and a useless shield
My foes are ranged about me
and they're crying for my death
They want to hear my final scream
and see my final breath
Kinsmen lay dead around me
giving silent company
It's so very far we've come
to die away from Anglesey
And it is not my death I mind
for we all die I know
It's that I've no weapon close to hand
with which to slay the foe
So I will doff my helmet quickly
and I'll look them in the eye
And in a hale and hearty voice
I'll call them out to die
And fighting like a madman
I will join my kin in death
But it is laughter that the foe will hear
upon my final breath.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Stand To Your Glasses Steady
We meet 'neath the sounding rafter,
And the walls around us are bare,
As they shout back our peals of laughter,
It seems as the dead were there;
(Chorus)
So stand to your glasses steady!
We drink 'fore our comrades' eyes,
One cup to the dead already,
Hurrah for the next man that dies!
Not a sigh for the lost that darkles,
Not a tear for the friends that sink,
We'll fall 'mid the wine cups' sparkles,
As mute as the wine we drink;
(Chorus)
Who dreads to the dust returning?
Who shrinks from the sable shore?
Where the haughty, restless yearning
Of the soul can sting no more;
(Chorus)
Cut off from the land that bore us,
Betrayed by the land we find,
When the brightest are gone before us,
And the dullest are left behind:
(Final Chorus)
(This song was written by Capt. Darling, an officer in England's
Indian Army during the time of the cholera epidemic. Capt. Darling
succumbed to the disease shortly after penning this poem. It is a
popular military drinking song and was particularly popular amongst
aviators serving in the Vietnam War, echoing much of their sorrow
and bitterness as well as it did that of Capt. Darling a hundred
years earlier.)
Tippery Town
I used to be as happy a sport as ever walked the street,
I was so very handsome I was almost fit to eat;
But now I'm old and seedy grown, and poverty holds me fast;
The boys and girls they smile at me, but still I takes my glass.
(Chorus)
Come, join my humble ditty, from Tippery Town I steer,
Like every good honest fellow, I likes my lager beer,
Like every good honest fellow, I takes my whiskey clear,
For I'm a rambling rake of poverty, and a son of a gambolier!
In the days when I was hard up, not many years ago,
With a coat all covered with patches, I hardly knew what to do;
I determined to be a burglar, to plunder and to steal,
And when I shook the countryman down, how good it made me feel.
(Chorus)
I wish I had a barrel of rum, and sugar three hundred pounds,
With a chapel bell to put it in, and the clapper to stir it round;
I'd drink to the health of the Shindar, and the girls both far and
near,
For I'm a rambling rake of of poverty and a son of a gambolier.
(Final Chorus)
Traditional
Anglesey Bob the Soldier
"Who's that knocking at my door?"
"Who's that knocking at my door?"
"Who's that knocking at my door?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Well, open the door you fucking whore!"
Said Anglesea Bob the Soldier
"Open the door you fucking whore!"
Said Anglesea Bob the Soldier
"Shall we go to the dance?"
"Shall we go to the dance?"
"Shall we go to the dance?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Well, to hell with the dance and down with
your pants," said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"To hell with the dance and down with your
pants," said Anglesea Bob the Soldier
"What if my ma and pa should come home?"
"What if my ma and pa should come home?"
"What if my ma and pa should come home?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Well, I'll kill your pa and rape your ma,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"I'll kill your pa and rape your ma,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"What's that thing between your legs?"
"What's that thing between your legs?"
"What's that thing between your legs?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Well, it's just me pole to fill your hole,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"It's just me pole to fill your hole,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"What's that stuff that's on your pole?"
"What's that stuff that's on your pole?"
"What's that stuff that's on your pole?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Oh it's just my grass to tickle your ass,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"Oh it's just my grass to tickle your ass,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"What's that running down my leg?"
"What's that running down my leg?"
"What's that running dowm my leg?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Well, it's just me shot that missed your
twot," said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"It's just me shot that missed your twot,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"What's that running down my chin?"
"What's that running down my chin?"
"What's that running down my chin?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Well, it's just me cream that missed when
you screamed," said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"It's just me cream that missed when you
screamed," said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"What's this thing on my wrists?"
"What's this thing on my wrists?"
"What's this thing on my wrists?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"A restraining device and isn't it nice!"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"A restraining device and isn't it nice!"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
(As if mouth was full)
"What's this thing in my mouth?"
"What's this thing in my mouth?"
"What's this thing in my mouth?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Oh it's just my peck to stretch your neck,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"Oh it's just my peck to stretch your neck,"
said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"What if I should have a child?"
"What if I should have a child?"
"What if I should have a child?"
Asked the fair young maiden.
"Bounce a daughter on your knee and send
a bastard off to sea," said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
"Bounce a daughter on your knee and send
a bastard off to sea," said Anglesea Bob the Soldier.
Heard in the Gwynedd camp but I can't blame them for it's origin as
version #2 is from a much earlier time.
Barnacle Bill the Sailor
"Who's that knocking at my door?"
"Who's that knocking at my door?"
"Who's that knocking at my door?"
Said the fair young maiden.
"It's only me from over the sea,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"My ass is tight, my temper's raw,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor
"I'm so wound up I'm afraid to stop,
I'm looking for meat or I'm going to
pop,"
"A rag, a bone with a cherry on top,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor
"I'll come down and let you in,"
"I'll come down and let you in,"
"I'll come down and let you in,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"Well, hurry before I bust the door,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'm hard to windward and hard a-lee,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I've newly come upon the shore,
and this is what I'm looking for,"
"A jade, a maid, or even a whore,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Oh, your whiskers scrape my cheeks,"
"Oh, your whiskers scrape my cheeks,"
"Oh, your whiskers scrape my cheeks,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"I'm dirty and lousy and full of fleas,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll stick my mast in whom I please,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"My flowing whiskers give me class,
the seahorses ate them instead of
grass,"
"If they hurt your cheeks, they'll tickle
your ass," Says Barnacle Bill the
Sailor.
"Tell me that we'll soon be wed,"
"Tell me that we'll soon be wed,"
"Tell me that we'll soon be wed,"
Said the fair young maiden.
"You foolish girl, it's nothing but sport,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I've got me a wife in every port,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Off I go on another tack, to give another
maid a crack,"
"But keep it oiled 'til I come back,"
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
Traditional
One Hundred Years Ago
When I sailed across the sea,
Oh yes, oh!
My gal said she'd be true to me,
One hundred years ago!
(Chorus)
Oh yes, oh!
One hundred years on the Eastern Shore,
One hundred years ago.
I promised her a golden ring,
She promised me that little thing,
When I got home to the Eastern shore,
My gal she had become a whore,
It wasn't small I tell you sir,
Damn near got lost inside of her,
In Anglysea I met a lass,
Her wink could set me on my ass,
Her bow was full her stern was trim,
Her rocky port near did me in,
In Iceland did I meet a girl,
Her golden hair had a wicked curl,
I gave her everything I owned,
I woke up broke and all alone,
This song is bad it can't get worse,
Unless you sods can sing a verse,
(Other verses)
Oh, Bully John was the boy for me,
A bully on land and a bucko at sea.
Ol'Bully John from Baltimore,
I knew him well, that son of a whore.
Ol'Bully John, I knew him well,
But now he's dead an' gone to hell.
It's up aloft this yeard must go,
For Mister Mate, he told us so.
I thought I heard the skipper say,
Just one more pull and then belay.
Traditional Sea Shanty with some verses by Jester of the Shindar.
Beware, people may begin to sing
Cruising 'Round Yarmouth
While cruising round Yarmouth one day for a spree,
Tammy! Way, hey, blow the man down.
I met a fair damsel, the wind blowing free.
Give me some time to blow the man down.
"I'm a fast-going clipper, my kind sir," said she.
"I'm ready for cargo, my hold is quite free."
What country she came from I could not tell which,
By her appearance I thought she was Dutch.
Her flag wore its colors, her masthead was low.
She was round in the counter and bluff in the bow.
I gave her the rope and I took her in tow,
Yardarm to yardarm a-towing we go.
She took me upstairs and her tops'l she lowered,
In a neat little landing she soon had me moored.
She lowered her fores'ls, her stays'ls and all,
With her lily white hand on me reef-tackle fall.
I said "Pretty maid it's now time to give o'er,
For 'twixt wind and water ye've run me ashore.
My shot-locker's empty, me powder's all spent,
I can't fire a shot for I'm choked to the vent."
Here's luck to the girl who ran Jack on the rocks,
And here's luck to the girl with the black curly locks.
Here's luck to the doctor who eased all his pain,
He's squared his main yards now he's cruising again.
Traditional
The Professions Song
(A.K.A The Girlfriend Song)
My girlfriend's a carpenter, a carpenter, a carpenter,
And a very fine carpenter is she,
All day she bangs nails, bangs nails, bangs nails,
And when she comes home she bangs me.
(Optional chorus)
Oh, drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the clan,
Follow the clan with your dick in your hand,
Drink a little bit, fuck a little bit,
Follow the clan,
Follow the clan all the way.
My girlfriend's a glassblower, a glassblower, a glassblower,
And a very fine glassblower is she,
All day she blows glass, she blows glass, she blows glass,
And when she comes home she blows me.
My girlfriends a mason
Lays bricks
a mechanic
screws bolts
a mailcarrier
licks stamps
a cook
eats food
etc.....
(If you can't make up at least one verse then you're much too
innocent to be reading this.)
Heard in the Gwynedd camp (they once sang it without repeating a
verse for three hours straight) but a Traditional.
I Used to Work in Gwenydd
I used to work in Gwenydd, I used to work in a store,
I used to work in a bakery, I don't work there anymore.
A lady came in one day, I asked her what she wanted,
"A roll," she said, roll her I did, I don't work there anymore.
I used to work in Gwenydd, I used to work in a store,
I used to work in a toy store, I don't work there anymore.
A lady came in one day, I asked her what she wanted,
"A ball," she said, ball her I did, I don't work there anymore.
butchers' store
tongue, pound
hardware store
pump, drill, nail, plunger
gas station
fill her up
candy store
sucker
stable
ride, mount
bakery
roll, layer
etc.....
Heard in the Gwynedd camp
Baltazars Pome
Well there's many tales 'bout Baltazar,
Who's old as dirt they say,
And here's a tale I overheard,
Around a camp one day.
It seems there was this dragon,
Two giants and a lass,
And between the four of them,
They had sealed a mountain pass.
Well the merchants were all screaming,
'Cause their goods could not get through,
And the townsfolk were all screaming,
'Cause they wanted those goods too.
So B-zar took his sword,
And B-zar took his shield,
And into the pass he went,
To give them all a taste of steel.
Well the dragon was no problem,
He slew it out of hand,
And the giants he chased back,
To some dismal nordic land.
Then he turned from the giants,
And he made to fight the lass,
And she tipped a wink to him,
And it dumped him on his ass.
Well B-zar shook his head,
And he took a glance around,
There was no one there a'watching,
So he got up off the ground.
The lass she laughed at Baltazar,
And said, with certain glee,
Mighty warrior you need three things,
'Fore you can play with me.
You need the luck of a devil,
And the courage of a bear,
And, the hardest thing of all,
You need a lock of angel's hair.
Well B-zar took his sword and
He struck the ground right well,
And he made a mighty gorge,
That went all the way to hell.
And up jumped a devil,
And he had a devilish grin,
And a pair of dice with which, he said,
That he could always win.
Well B-zar took those dice,
And he rolled them in his hand,
Then he tossed them in the air,
And a seven's what did land.
Well that devil he did swear,
And that devil he did curse,
And he said he wanted one more chance,
He'd bet the gold in his purse.
It went like this for most the day,
And when rang the evening bell,
Baltazar had won the devils' gold,
And all his luck as well.
Now the lass she was perturbed,
But B-zar, he'd won fair,
So she clapped her hands together,
And there appeared a mighty bear.
Well B-Zar dropped his sword and shield,
And ran right at that bear.
There was a growling in his throat,
And standing upright was his hair.
That bear he looked at Baltazar,
Then turned his tail and fled,
For he'd rather be a coward,
Than a bearskin rug and dead.
Now that lass was surely frightened,
But on her face there was a grin,
"Mortals can't catch angels,
You can't even hope to win."
So B-zar took his sword,
And cut a lock of her own hair,
And said, "You're an angel,
With a beauty that's most rare."
Then he spanked her on her ass,
And he dragged her back to town,
And history relates to us,
That soon she settled down.
That's the ending of this story,
And I swear that it's all true,
And if anyone believes that,
I've some land to sell to you.
Jester of Anglesea
1992
Shindar War Chant
Your women are crying,
And banshees are howling,
For Death in your lands,
Is soon to roam free,
(Chorus)
For you've called us to war,
And it's war that you'll get,
Such that those who survive it,
Shall never forget,
The call that will echo,
From near and from far,
The howl of mad warriors,
All screaming "SHINDAR!"
Your homes we will burn,
And your fields we'll salt,
Your livestock we'll slaughter,
It's all your damn fault,
(Chorus)
Your women and children,
We'll leave in the snow,
In cold, barren fields,
Where nothing will grow,
(Chorus)
We do not fear Death,
So hear our words well,
When battle is joined,
We will send you to HELL!
(Final Chorus)
Jester of the Shindar
The Shindar Song
T'was a chill and windy day when the
longboats pulled to shore,
And the Norsemen walked across the rocks
a'girded up for war.
Full half a day they marched across the
barren hills of stone,
Until they found a valley where the
Shindar made their home.
The Shindar working in their fields,
they heard a mighty roar,
And from the hills the Vikings rushed,
their chieftain at the fore.
The Shindar fought by twos and threes,
with weapon and with hand,
Until but twenty there remained to make
a final stand.
With the hold ablaze around them, they
knew that they would die,
And then above the sounds of war they
heard an eerie cry.
It was a howl of vengance promised,
a cry of coming death,
T'was a sound to shake a brave man's soul
and chill his final breath,
It was laughter at the carnage,
that soon would will the field,
T'was the scream of broken sword and the
groan of shattered shield.
A multi-colored band of rogues fled from
the setting sun,
With flashing eyes and flashing swords to
battle did they run.
What Norsemen turned to face them felt the
touch of Shindar spears,
And those that did not die of wounds began
to die of fear.
The battle raged throughout the hold,
a battle to the last,
No mercy to be given and no mercy to be
asked.
The chieftains battled through the flames,
a battle to the end,
One chieftain battled to destroy the other
to defend.
With a sword blade in his belly, the Viking
chief did die,
His killer stood above his corpse and
screamed a joyful cry.
It was a howl of vengance promised,
A cry of coming death,
T'was a sound to shake a brave man's soul
and chill his final breath.
It was laughter at the carnage, that soon
would fill the field,
T'was the scream of broken sword and the
groan of shattered shield.
By ones and twos into the hills the Vikings
they all fled,
And in the burning hold they left their
wounded and their dead.
The Shindar did not stop the fight nor let
the Norsemen flee,
But driven by the madness they pursued
them to the sea.
The Vikings found their boats aflame and
turned to make a stand,
And died a Viking warrior's death amidst
the rocks and sand.
Well the Shindar Scouts are out there,
you'll never know just where,
And mayhem is their livliehood and
carnage is their fare.
Sometimes before a battle and before their
arrows fly,
The Shindar scouts will gather and they'll
sound their lonesome cry.
It is a howl of vengance promised,
A cry of coming death,
It's a sound to shake a brave man's soul
and chill his final breath.
It is laughter at the carnage that soon
will fill the field,
It's the scream of broken sword and the
groan of shattered shield.
Jester of the Shindar
1992
Old King Finn
Old King Finn was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl,
And he called for his Kinsmen three.
"Beer! Beer! Beer!" said the Kinsmen.
(Audience repeats the line)
"Merry men are we!"
(Audience repeats the line)
"But there's none so fair as they can compare,
to the men of Anglesea!"
(Audience repeats the line)
Old King Finn was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl,
And he called for his Shindar three.
"Kill everybody twice!" said the Shindar.
(Audience repeats the line)
"Beer! Beer! Beer!" said the Kinsmen.
(Audience repeats the line)
"Merry men are we!"
(Audience repeats the line)
"But there's none so fair as they can compare,
to the men of Anglesea!"
(Audience repeats the line)
(The song continues to build in this manner)
Daughters, Two
"We want a Shindar warrior!" said the daughters.
Wenches, Three
"You call that a prick?" said the wenches.
Harlots, Three
"That'll cost you extra!" said the harlots.
Lovetoys, Three
"Baa! Baa! Baa!" said the lovetoys.
Diamond Dogs, Three
"Beans! Beans! Beans!" said the Diamond Dogs.
Wyndhavens, Three
"Let's all do our kin," said the Wyndhavens.
Tuchucks, Three
"Wah! Wah! Wah!" whined the Tuchucks
Jester of Anglesea
1993
Friends
Some are born to greatness,
And some are born to fail,
And some will live in palaces,
Some will live in jail.
Me I've been in both of them,
For many's the time or two,
And I'd like to take a moment,
To say just this to you:
It's friends that make the world go 'round.
And that's a simple fact.
I'd rather be with all my friends,
No matter where I'm at.
In a fight or at a party,
They will help you watch your rear,
As long as you've got friends around,
You'll never have to fear.
So here's a mug to those with friends,
And all the sods without.
They're livin' in a livin' hell,
Of that I've got no doubt.
To Hell with fame and fortune,
God give me lots of friends,
And I'll never fear to face,
Whatever waits around the bend.
Jester of Anglesea
1993
Untitled
Welcome to a place where even devils fear to tread.
It's a place where men are Welsh or else they'll soon be dead.
It's a place in which the very land does feed upon the bones,
Of everyman who's ever tried to take from us our homes.
There's not a hill that hasn't heard the ring of sword on shield.
There's not a valley in the land that hasn't been a battlefield.
But by God the Welshmen still are free,
Most free of all is Anglesea,
And none but Welsh shall own this land,
While still in Wales a Welshman stands.
Some say the land is barren and devoid of any life,
'Hind every rock there lies a filthy Welshman with a knife.
But the hills are green and beautiful and tower o'er the sea,
And closer to God's heaven, well, a man can ever be.
The truth of this we know from all the swords clasped in the hands,
Of men who come from far away to try to steal our land.
But by God the Welshmen still are free,
Most free of all is Anglesea,
And none but Welsh shall own this land,
While still in Wales a Welshman stands.
Jester of Anglesea
1993
Untitled
Rise up all you battered heroes,
Vict'ry calls us to the field,
Lift your voice in songs of glory,
Lift up now your swords and shields.
Rise up all you weary Kinsmen,
Don the garb of green and gold,
Raise the flag of Anglesea,
For all the foemen to behold.
Hear the piper softly piping,
Hear the drum beat long and loud,
Hear the men of Anglesea,
O' hear them singing strong and proud.
Rise up all you men of Wales,
Feel the dragon in your blood,
Fall upon the foreign host,
A wild, raging mountain flood.
Some will wear the cloth of glory,
Some will have a suit of clay,
Brave men purchase reputation,
Fighting 'gainst the foe today.
Jester of Anglesea
1993
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